


Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass

by revel_ry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Characters, Alternate Universe, M/M, Sexual Content, Swearing, and wearing glasses, for anyone who wants to see Akaashi get mad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revel_ry/pseuds/revel_ry
Summary: The door swings open and knocks against the inside wall. On the rebound, Bokuto watches the wreath think about falling, but stay holding on.Akaashi, eyes squinted behind his silver-rimmed glasses, says into the silence from the doorway, “Kuroo fucking Tetsurou.”Across the room, Kuroo’s fingers stiffen around his drink, and his eyes go wide.//A Christmas fic sort of, where Kuroo’s gotten away with it for a while, but Akaashi is no fool.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 137
Collections: Have Read





	Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass

**Author's Note:**

> I had this under another account previously, but deleted it from there and moved it here with new characters.  
> Based on the song "Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass" by All Time Low. Couldn't come up with a better title lol.  
> Enjoy :)

**_Christmas Eve, 6:20 p.m._ **

“But I’m capping it at three,” Bokuto says, smiling.

Kuroo grins back, rolling his eyes and waving his drink glass at Bokuto. “Yeah, yeah. I hold it well.”

Bokuto just nods at him. “Uh-huh. Good luck.”

Kuroo winks and walks back to his conversation with Hanamaki.

Bokuto watches him, then leans back against the drink table at the edge of the room, crossing his ankles.

“Is there really a cap?” Konoha asks, standing next to him.

Bokuto sips his own drink. “For him there is.”

Konoha clicks his tongue. “Who invited him to the office party anyway? He doesn’t work here.”

“I did,” Bokuto says. “A couple weeks ago.”

“Akaashi?” Konoha asks.

Bokuto nods. “Mhm. And then, in light of recent events, we figured we’d leave the invitation open.”

Konoha lifts a brow. “What events?”

Bokuto looks down at the pearl-white face of his watch, then gazes at the door to their main office, evergreen and red ribbon Christmas wreath hanging on it by one hook. He wonders briefly if it’ll fall off or not. The door could use a hydraulic hinge. “Mm. Shouldn’t be long now.”

Konoha looks where he’s looking. “What did you plan?”

Bokuto sighs gently. “The only one planning anything was Kuroo.”

Konoha looks over at Kuroo, free hand with its expensive gold Swiss watch in his expensive suit pocket, soaking in the attention of Hanamaki and Mattsun and anyone else who cares to listen to him speak that loudly. Konoha looks at Bokuto, watching the door, a for once unreadable expression on his face, one brow lifted just the slightest.

Konoha says, “Oh shit.”

The door swings open and knocks against the inside wall. On the rebound, Bokuto watches the wreath think about falling, but stay holding on.

Akaashi, eyes squinted behind his silver-rimmed glasses, says into the silence from the doorway, “Kuroo fucking Tetsurou.”

Across the room, Kuroo’s fingers stiffen around his drink, and his eyes go wide.

…

**_June 28, Six Months Earlier_ **

Bokuto does the same little squeeze as always when Akaashi hugs him goodbye. His arms tighten around Akaashi’s back briefly before they pull away and he says, “Bye, Kaashi. See you Monday.”

Akaashi smiles and waves to him, watching Bokuto Koutarou, his boss and his best friend who he loves more than anyone, walk out to the street from the outdoor restaurant they had dinner at to catch a cab.

Bokuto looks back at him for a second, then turns fully to face him again, puts his hands out and motions widely, and calls over, “The lights, Kaashi! They’re you!”

Akaashi turns around and looks up. The restaurant seating is draped in Christmas lights, casting a golden glow over the tables where they were just sitting. They’re beautiful, and from where Bokuto is standing they must be making an arch around Akaashi’s frame in the dark. Akaashi turns back and smiles. “Take a photo then, you sap.”

Bokuto pulls out his phone and does just that.

Akaashi shakes his head at him. “You’re weird.”

“Next Saturday?” Bokuto asks.

He doesn’t need to ask—they always do something on Saturdays, and it’s not like they won’t see each other at work every day during the week, but it’s become a sort of joke between them that one of them mentions it every time, just to be sure.

Akaashi nods. “Of course.”

“See you later!” Bokuto waves again, then sees a taxi coming by from the corner of his eye and jumps, shouting, to hail it.

Akaashi chuckles. Bokuto may be the boss of him and his many other employees and may have a pretty good standing—enough to have a second house with two whole stories and an actual yard down in Nagasaki that he kindly lets Akaashi visit with him in the spring—but he’s still the same person Akaashi has known since they were kids together.

He pulls out his phone to check the time—almost ten. Pocketing his phone again, he turns to start down the sidewalk. He still has plenty of time to run by the convenience store really quick before—

He locks eyes by chance with a stranger, and it makes him stutter in his walk. He stops, and he knows he’s staring but he can’t seem to get his body to do anything.

The stranger, just walking by in some moment of what Akaashi is starting to think is serendipity, looks back at him for a while, and then he smiles, and he starts to walk straight towards him.

Akaashi pauses and looks sideways, wondering if he’s standing between the stranger and someone he knows or if he really is looking at him.

“Just you,” the stranger says.

Akaashi blinks up at him as he finally comes to stand in front of him. “Me? I—hi.”

The stranger does a funny, incredibly good-looking laugh. Tall and solid, styled-messy hair and a countenance that convey a nonchalant attitude that the way he dresses belies. “Ah—” He bows respectfully. “Kuroo Tetsurou. It’s nice to meet you.”

Akaashi looks into those sharp, seriously gorgeous eyes for a second, wondering what wouldn’t have happened if he and Bokuto had left two minutes later, before bowing back. “Akaashi. Um, Keiji.”

Kuroo smiles again and nods. “I’m sorry if I was staring. I couldn’t help but notice you under these lights. You look very beautiful.”

Akaashi’s face feels warm. “Thank you. You too. I mean, you’re—” He puts a hand out. “You’re handsome.” He nods once, kicking himself internally. He’s never been good with this kind of interaction.

Kuroo doesn’t seem to mind. He just looks down at him with those eyes of his, an easy smile curving his lips on the corners. “Thank you, that’s kind of you. It looks like you’re about to leave and I know this is sudden, and I really don’t mean to seem creepy—”

Akaashi shakes his head.

Kuroo just smiles. “But I was wondering if I could get your number.”

Akaashi blanks for a second. Is this GQ model of a man really asking him for his phone number? He’s _got_ to tell Bokuto about this.

He nods, probably a little too wide-eyed. “Yes. Yes, that would be fine.”

Kuroo sighs like he’s relieved, but it seems feigned. Akaashi smiles at it. “Thank god,” Kuroo says. “I was so nervous you’d be weirded out by me coming up to you randomly.” He pulls out his phone from a pair of brand jeans that Akaashi recognizes from stores he can only walk around in.

Akaashi accepts the phone gladly. “You don’t seem as nervous as me,” he says. He taps into Kuroo’s contacts and starts adding himself in when he feels Kuroo’s hand touch his back. He accidentally gasps a little as Kuroo gently pushes him, moving them out of the middle of the sidewalk for a group of women to pass by. Kuroo’s hand seems to burn an impression into his skin.

Kuroo is closer to him now, his hand still there. “To tell you the truth,” he says. He leans a little closer to Akaashi’s ear, and his hand slips down to his lower back, broad and splayed to cover a good two thirds of the space there. Akaashi stares, frozen, down at Kuroo’s phone screen as Kuroo says low, “I’m usually no good at talking to people on the street, but I couldn’t miss my chance at you.”

Akaashi shivers and says quietly, “Really? I…you seem like you…” He forgets the rest of the words.

Kuroo hums and leans away from him, his hand lingering before sliding away from his shirt. “Really. Who wouldn’t be a little scared to talk to you?”

Akaashi blinks and finishes putting his number in, checking it to make sure it’s right because he thinks he’ll really hate himself if it turns out he put a three instead of a four and then he’ll never get to look at this product of the genetic lottery again. Kuroo takes his phone back with that easy, hardly nervous at all smile. Akaashi clears his throat and says, “Oh, uh.” He adjusts his glasses on his nose.

Kuroo laughs softly and says, “Cute.”

Akaashi looks up at him again. “What?”

“Your glasses. I like them.”

“Oh.” He fixes them again by accident. “Thank you.”

Kuroo tilts his head a little, watching his face. “Mhm. You don’t seem nervous at all. Can I call you soon?”

Akaashi thinks, _How about we skip the call and the dinner and just get on with what’s obvious?_ He clears his throat again and says, “Any time.”

Kuroo laughs again and nods. “Great. Have a good night, Keiji.”

Akaashi nods, and Kuroo turns to go, putting his hands coolly in his pockets and walking away into the city.

Akaashi lets out a huge breath and starts walking too quickly down the sidewalk the other way. He struggles his phone out of his pocket and taps Bokuto’s name.

Almost immediately, “Everything good, Kaashi?”

“Kou, you are _not_ going to believe this.”

**_July 2_ **

Akaashi sips his iced coffee, watching the people go by. “So many students in this city,” he says. “Look—there’s a whole pack of them right there.” He points.

Kuroo laughs next to him. “Weren’t you a student once?”

Akaashi shrugs, feeling the presence of Kuroo’s arm around the back of the bench, his hand brushing Akaashi’s shoulder. “Yeah. But I’m over it.”

Kuroo chuckles and nods. “Me too. Foreigner at three o’clock.”

Akaashi looks over to see a tall, pale, blonde woman walking up the block. “Teacher?” he guesses.

“Maybe,” Kuroo says. “Could be a businesswoman on her day off.”

Akaashi nods, liking the critical thinking. “True.” He squints into the sun, watching her cross the street. “She looks European. Swedish, maybe? I bet she danced as a child. Maybe she’s one now.”

Kuroo looks over at him. “Yeah? Why?”

Akaashi hums against his straw. “She looks like one. She’s lean and lithe and looks flexible and light on her feet. Don’t you think?”

“Like your body, you mean?”

Akaashi looks at him, blinking. Kuroo has been easily throwing indirect compliments like that all day, from the walk in Ueno Park to the coffee shop to now. They slip from his tongue so flawlessly it’s like he had them planned. But how could he when Akaashi says something like that by chance?

But Akaashi isn’t exactly unfamiliar with being treated like this. Bokuto has a joke name for him that he uses once in a while—the desired one; “The one nobody can get,” he says. But he’s not wrong—even the straight guys, the married guys, all the guys (because the women are smarter than that) around the office look at Akaashi from time to time. Everyone always so nice— _Do you want some coffee, Akaashi-san?_ _I’ll take that extra article and you can go early if you want, you know, since it’s Friday and all._ Sometimes Akaashi thinks the only guy who never said or tried anything like that _is_ Bokuto, and that’s just because they’ve been close since grade school.

Kuroo is different. Where those other guys don’t know what they’re doing, Kuroo is smooth, very suave, and probably way too handsome. It strikes Akaashi as red flags, but when Kuroo laughs or does that ridiculous Cheshire smile where the corners of his lips curl up and his eyes narrow playfully…how could Akaashi not be as totally infatuated as he is? Kuroo is a nice guy, and he always has something to say in response to Akaashi instead of a boring one-sided conversation that he usually gets with other guys—sometimes by his own fault—and Kuroo’s obviously intelligent, and they’re not lacking in chemistry. In total, it’s been a great first date, and Akaashi is not complaining.

“Me?” he says, looking down at his legs in his jeans. “I don’t think I can dance.”

“Are you flexible?” Kuroo asks.

Akaashi _really_ likes when the smile is less goofy and a little more smug. He tries to keep from blushing up on his cheekbones (which Kuroo has already complimented), and looks back out at the street, suppressing a grin. “Somewhat.”

Kuroo smiles and tends to his coffee.

After a moment, a man in a tailored blue suit makes his way past them. “Oh,” Akaashi snaps his fingers. “I meant to ask—where do you work?”

“You ask because of Armani-san over there?” Kuroo says, tilting his head at the guy.

Akaashi’s mouth opens. It’s not like he didn’t notice Kuroo’s expensive clothing and the fact that he’s wearing a gold watch today instead of the silver one he was wearing when they met. He noticed, and he can’t say he isn’t impressed, but he doesn’t care about it like that. He waves his hand out. “No, I—I just—”

Kuroo chuckles. “I’m just messing with you. I work with Sumitomo Mitsui.”

As in, one of the biggest financial corporations in the country? He’s not hearing wrong, right? “Financial?” Akaashi asks.

Kuroo nods.

Akaashi pauses, then laughs. “Wow. I…didn’t expect quite that. I knew you—I mean…that’s great.”

“An attractive quality, I suppose,” Kuroo says, smiling.

Akaashi shakes his head. “No, I don’t mean it that way. For god’s sake, I only work at Tokyo Shimbun.”

Kuroo lifts an eyebrow. “You mean, like, probably the biggest newspaper publisher in the city? Or is it the country?”

Akaashi clicks his tongue and pushes him lightly. “Ah. It’s nothing like Sumitomo. I would only have been more impressed by, like, Toyota. Besides, I’m not exactly in a high position. Talk to my boss for that one. You’re probably the CFO or something.”

Kuroo laughs out loud, head tilting back, skin perfect in the sunlight. For some reason, Akaashi can’t really think of anything much more attractive. Kuroo shakes his head again. “No, no way. I wouldn’t be here right now if I was—probably stuck in an office or at a meeting. I’m a marketing executive. My next assignment is just to find a new photographer for some promos we want to shoot later this year.”

As if that isn’t enough. Akaashi asks, “Would you add ‘senior’ in front of that title?”

Kuroo chews his lip, looking into Akaashi’s eyes. “Maybe.”

Akaashi tisks and looks away into the distance. “You’re too much, Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Really? I feel as though I’m not enough for you.”

Akaashi stares at him. There’s another one of those easy statements. Akaashi knows he should be more skeptical, but he can’t deny how they make him feel. He says, “You like me, don’t you.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows lift a little. “What makes you think that?”

Akaashi shrugs nonchalantly. His voice is a little quieter. “I don’t know. Maybe all those things you say. How smooth you are,” he says, poking Kuroo’s arm. “And maybe I’m crazy, but it looks like you wouldn’t mind kissing me if I asked.”

In the brief moment that Akaashi is waiting for Kuroo to say, _There’s only one way to find out,_ Kuroo says instead, “You don’t have to ask me,” and his hand comes to Akaashi’s face and pulls him in.

Akaashi is aware that this is fast, that other couples take longer than this. But he’s also aware that he and Kuroo have different tastes from those couples, and that there’s a tension between them and they both have a preference for how to break it. Kuroo is being gentlemanly enough by having waited this long to kiss him, and by likely waiting longer for more.

Besides, Akaashi is the one who said something. And Kuroo is a _very_ good kisser.

Kuroo pulls away, and Akaashi looks into his face for a second, and then they both lean back to their proper seats. Kuroo’s arm makes its way off the back of the bench and down onto Akaashi’s shoulders, and Akaashi moves closer on the seat. They both sip their drinks at the same time, and Akaashi can’t help but laugh.

Kuroo smiles into the sun, motions in front of them and says, “Now, tell me why that couple is holding hands but walking thirty centimeters apart.”

**_July 12_ **

The knock comes to Akaashi’s door around five o’clock. He figures himself saved from trying to put contacts in, puts down the case of them, and grabs his glasses instead, walking out to the door. He pulls it open and smiles at Bokuto, standing there dressed in his usual off-work street casual with his hands held behind his back.

Bokuto grins back and says, “The pink shirt! How do you always look so good in things a size too big for you?”

Akaashi looks down at himself, shrugging. “It’s comfortable. You should try oversized some time.” He shakes his head. “I take that back. Keep the fitted clothes. What are you hiding from me?” He puts a hand on his hip.

Bokuto looks off to the side. “Oh, just something I thought you might like…” He brings his hands out and makes a flashy show of two little paper tickets.

Akaashi does a dramatic gasp. He plucks them from Bokuto’s fingers and looks at them. “Kou, you shouldn’t have. The Skytree?”

Bokuto rocks innocently on his feet. “Japan’s highest observation deck, right? Do you like—”

Akaashi hugs him tightly. “I love it. Of course I love it. For tonight?”

“Right after dinner.”

Akaashi wiggles a little against his body. “I’m really excited. I’ll make this up to you next time. Level the playing field.”

Bokuto laughs and hugs him gently. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just something I’ve wanted to do with you. Are you allowed to hug me now?”

Akaashi leans back and clicks his tongue. “Oh, don’t say that. He’s not that kind of guy.”

Bokuto just smiles and nods. “I’m sure. Are you ever going to introduce me?” He puts his elbow out and Akaashi takes his arm, letting his door close behind them as they start toward the elevator of Akaashi’s apartment building.

Akaashi smiles and says, “Very soon. I’ll let you know after we meet tomorrow night.”

Bokuto presses the elevator button and raises his eyebrows at him. “Oh? Have you planned something specific?”

Akaashi just looks up at the floor counter, holding back a smile. “Nothing in particular. I figure we’ll probably just…let things happen on their own.”

Bokuto chuckles. “Whatever you say, Kaashi. I can tell you really like him. It seems fast, no?”

Akaashi looks at him flatly. “It’s our sixth date, Kou. I think that means I’m actually running late on sleeping with him, doesn’t it? How is it in America—third date, right? You’re the one who studied abroad there.”

Bokuto chuckles again and looks down. “I guess I wouldn’t know.” He looks into Akaashi’s eyes for a second, then shakes his head. “All right. Just be careful, Kaashi. With a guy like him. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Akaashi squeezes Bokuto’s arm and leans his head on his shoulder. The elevator opens and they go in, facing the doors. “I’m a big boy, Kou,” he says, pressing the button for the ground floor. “I think I know what I’m getting myself into.”

The elevator doors close.

**_July 13_ **

Kuroo is on him again as soon as their shoes are off and the door to Kuroo’s apartment closes. Akaashi’s back hits the door and Kuroo presses up to him, tasting of sweet champagne as he kisses him heavily.

Akaashi tilts his chin up and lets Kuroo move to his neck, sighing at the ceiling. “This place is beautiful,” he says in a breath.

Kuroo twists the lock on his door. He leaves red on Akaashi’s neck and leans back to look into his eyes. “Thanks.” His hands find Akaashi’s waist, pulling Akaashi roughly against him.

Akaashi yelps softly and grabs at the sides of Kuroo’s shirt, untucking it halfway by accident. “I guess you’ll show me around tomorrow,” he says.

Kuroo smiles darkly and picks Akaashi up in one quick motion, and Akaashi wraps tight around him. Kuroo brings his mouth close to Akaashi’s and says, “Tomorrow is a long way off.” He starts walking.

Akaashi wants to say something perfect like that, like the things Kuroo always says, but nothing comes to him and he shakes his head while Kuroo gazes up at him. He says, “I don’t know what to say, Tetsurou. Just…I want…”

Kuroo smiles at him again, not answering.

Eventually Akaashi is dropped down, and Kuroo climbs up onto his bed while Akaashi stares at him from the pillows. Kuroo eyes him like he’s prey, catlike, his gaze lingering over the place where the neck of Akaashi’s button-up has slipped off one shoulder, exposing his collarbone. Kuroo comes close, placing a hand on Akaashi’s thigh, sliding it up to his waist and dipping it just under his shirt to touch skin before removing it again.

Akaashi bites down on his lip. “Tetsurou.”

Kuroo gets on his knees and takes off his shirt.

Akaashi stares at him, at his shoulders and his chest and his _skin_ , his gorgeous flawless smooth skin, just sunkissed enough. He shakes his head again. “Oh god.”

Kuroo leans down and kisses him very softly, and Akaashi’s heart does a weird thing behind his ribs. Kuroo’s hand is gentle on Akaashi’s face, his kisses light and tingly. They continue to be so as the hand moves down to Akaashi’s jeans and pops the button easily. Kuroo drags the zipper down, hooks his fingers into the waistband, and says against Akaashi’s lips, “I want you so terribly, Akaashi Keiji.”

Akaashi shivers like Kuroo always makes him. He starts it for Kuroo, pushing everything down off his own hips. Whispering, he says, “Then have me.”

Kuroo does that smile and moves back, getting Akaashi’s clothes off his lower half. “Have patience, Keiji.” He comes back and lets his fingertips skate along Akaashi’s bare thighs. “Why don’t we take it nice and slow?”

Slowly, he pushes Akaashi’s thighs apart and leans down.

Kuroo’s fingers run softly through Akaashi’s hair as he rests against his chest.

“Say something,” Kuroo whispers.

Akaashi traces his hand over Kuroo’s toned stomach. “I don’t know what to say. You…you were…” He just closes his eyes.

Kuroo kisses his head, hums and keeps playing with his hair. “You too, Keiji. You make me feel…” He sighs and then says, “Very light.”

Akaashi blinks and looks up at him, resting his chin on Kuroo’s chest. “Don’t say that.”

Kuroo smiles. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not fair for you to say everything right and do that to me and be perfect all at the same time.”

Kuroo laughs softly. “It’s true, though. I didn’t know what to expect when I first went up to you, but I couldn’t be any happier that I did.”

Akaashi breathes out, closing his eyes again, wrapping his hand around Kuroo’s chest as if to hold him closer. “Enough.”

There’s silence for a moment.

Then Kuroo says, “Maybe you made me this way.”

Akaashi doesn’t answer. What is there to say?

“And…it’s never been like that with anyone else,” Kuroo says, brushing Akaashi’s slightly damp hair from his face. “You’re the incredible one, Kaashi.”

Akaashi opens his eyes again when Kuroo calls him that. He pauses, then pushes up onto his elbows to look into Kuroo’s face. He waits, letting Kuroo gaze into his eyes. “I have to introduce you to my friend,” he says. Kuroo smiles and nods, and Akaashi leans down to meet his lips.

**_October 28_ **

**Akaashi** _: Are you still coming babe?_

He hits send on the message, looking at the time on his phone. Kuroo said he’d be off work and over to the apartment for date night by 6:30. Is Akaashi too clingy to text him at 6:38? Well, if Kuroo thought he was too clingy, they probably wouldn’t be celebrating their four-month today. He hasn’t mentioned it, waiting to see if Kuroo remembers. But since Kuroo has been all around perfect for four months straight, Akaashi might be expecting a surprise when Kuroo gets home late. He figures he can give Kuroo a little leeway for that.

His phone chimes.

**Tetsu <3** _: sorry baby, I’m just running a little late. I’ll be home by 7, promise_

Akaashi smiles and shakes his head. Kuroo has probably had something planned for a week already, and it’s probably way better than what Akaashi got for him. But Akaashi has a thing for gifting watches—he’s gotten one for his dad, and he gave Bokuto a black leather one with a pearl-white face two years ago for his birthday. Bokuto wears it every single day, never taking it off except for exercising, showering, and sleeping. Akaashi figures since Kuroo has a few that he switches out, he wouldn’t mind another one from him.

**Akaashi** _: it’s all right. see you soon :)_

He sets his phone down, but it chimes again a moment later. Expecting a return smile, he picks it up and reads

**Kou^^** _: I think twelve years beats four months, don’t you??_

Akaashi laughs and says a quiet, “Ahh…”

**Akaashi** _: one up him why don’t you?_

**Kou^^** _: I think that’s actually uh_

**Kou^^** _: how many months in 11 years plus 8 months?_

**Kou^^** _: like a hundred up_

Akaashi smiles, sitting down on his sofa. He looks over at the gift box he has for Kuroo on the coffee table, then answers

**Akaashi** _: 140 actually_

**Kou^^** _: well damn_

**Kou^^** _: I think I win_

**Kou^^** _: I’m just kidding. Happy anniversary :) I bet he’ll love your gift_

Akaashi glances at the time again. 6:42.

**Akaashi** _: thank you :) whenever he gets here anyway. he’s running late. maybe I’ll set up our dinner and stuff_

**Kou^^** _: ok, Kaashi. see you tomorrow_

**Kou^^** _: and have fun with your ~stuff~_

Akaashi shakes his head again and puts his phone down on his legs. He waits there for a second, looking at the grey box on the coffee table, then gets up to go to the dining room.

Kuroo gets home at 7:15, but Akaashi doesn’t really notice. He stands leaning against the table as Kuroo walks in, closing the door behind him and taking off his jacket.

“I am so sorry I’m late,” Kuroo says, taking his shoes off with his hands— _So I don’t scuff the heels,_ he said before.

Akaashi smiles at him, watching him straighten his shoes perfectly perpendicular with the wall. “It’s okay. Luckily I have dinner pretty much fresh anyway.”

Kuroo stands up and turns to him, flawless smile on his lips. “Really,” he says. He walks over to Akaashi, eyes wandering over the spread of food Akaashi has out for them. “I’m not terribly hungry but it smells delicious.” He takes Akaashi’s arms and kisses him. “Thank you. What’s the occasion?” he asks.

Akaashi holds it back, trying to see if Kuroo is hiding the present on him or if it’s something he can’t readily touch. He doesn’t know if he can play back, though—he’s too excited. Only sort of by accident he says, “Happy four-month anniversary, Tetsurou. Triannual, if you want to sound cool.” He smiles.

Kuroo’s mouth opens, and his hands move down to Akaashi’s waist, squeezing gently. “Oh—Kaashi, you didn’t have to do all this. I…I didn’t know…” He shakes his head.

Akaashi shifts on his feet, but maintains his face. He blinks up at Kuroo’s sorry eyebrows and says, “No, it’s—I was happy to. It’s fine.”

Kuroo kisses him again. “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot.”

Akaashi just smiles and shakes his head. In hindsight, it was silly of him to expect, anyway. “No, don’t even worry about it. It’s not like it’s a real anniversary anyway. Just a special occasion, I suppose. And…” He reaches behind his back to the table and pulls out the grey box, holding it up in two hands for Kuroo. “An excuse to get you something.”

Kuroo’s brows go up and he takes the box. “Kaashi—I can’t accept this when I didn’t even get you anything.”

Akaashi shrugs. “Really, it’s fine. And you have to open it because I’m pretty sure it’s perfect for you.”

Kuroo looks at him and smiles sheepishly, but it doesn’t fit on his face. “I…thank you, Keiji. Should I open it now?”

Akaashi forces a laugh and waves his hand at him. “Yes, yes, hurry up before the food gets cold.”

Kuroo laughs and starts undoing the tie on the box.

“What kept you so late?” Akaashi asks.

Kuroo lifts the lid of the box, and his mouth opens again in a soft gasp. “Oh my god. Kaashi, this is so cool.” He lifts out the watch Akaashi got for him, soft grey leather and silver plating, holding it in his palm. “You really didn’t have to do this.”

Akaashi smiles a little more, glad that Kuroo likes it, though he knew he would. “I just thought you might like it.”

Kuroo nods sincerely. “I do. It’s really great. I don’t have any like it. Thank you so much.” He puts the box down on the table and kisses Akaashi a few more times, slower, then once on his nose. Then he looks at him, biting his lip, and says, “God, I really feel like an idiot for forgetting.”

Akaashi laughs, and it’s real this time. “It’s really not a big deal. There’s no rulebook that says four months is a thing. Maybe I’m just too romantic.”

Kuroo smiles and tilts his head. “Maybe.” He puts the watch down and grabs Akaashi’s waist again, hoisting him onto the table. He steps close and puts his hands on Akaashi’s thighs. “How about we go out tomorrow, hm? To make it up to you.”

Akaashi looks up at him, just a few centimeters away. He wonders how even when Kuroo isn’t perfect, he still manages to make up for it with something equally as perfect. “Okay. Where?”

“Anywhere you’d like,” Kuroo says softly. “How about the observation deck? That really high one. Have you been?”

Akaashi smiles, remembering. “Only once. I had an amazing time.”

Kuroo slides his hands along his thighs. “Maybe we can have an even more amazing time together.”

Akaashi brings his hands to Kuroo’s jaw and kisses him for a long time.

Kuroo tugs gently on his lip with his teeth, pausing for a moment before breathing out, “God, I love kissing you.” He pulls at Akaashi’s hips, and Akaashi wraps his arms around his neck and kisses him deeper.

**_Christmas Eve, 9:30 a.m._ **

Akaashi smiles to himself, finally getting the gold ribbon around Bokuto’s last Christmas present to curl right. In total this year: an embossed black leather portfolio for his day planner he keeps on his desk, a silver lava lamp with black lava because Bokuto’s into that kind of thing, and now a navy bomber jacket that Akaashi saw in a window and immediately went in to get for him, even though it was one of those stores he can only walk around in. It’ll go perfectly with that watch Akaashi got for him two years ago for his birthday.

He’s setting the present aside with the other two when his phone chimes on the coffee table.

**Kou^^** _: hey Keiji_

Akaashi picks it up to answer, tilting his head at his first name.

**Akaashi** _: hi, what is it?_

**Kou^^** _: well_

**Kou^^** _: I don’t want to ruin your Christmas Eve but.._

Akaashi’s brows come together a little.

**Akaashi** _: what?_

Bokuto doesn’t answer him right away.

**Akaashi** _: what is it Kou?_

A photo appears on Akaashi’s screen. He taps it and brings his phone closer to his face.

There’s no denying it—even from behind, Akaashi knows well enough by now that that’s Kuroo in the photo. Kuroo, and some other guy. Kuroo is leaning in close to the man’s ear, smiling while he whispers whatever it is, his hand splayed low on the man’s back. Exactly what he did to Akaashi.

Akaashi looks at it for a while. His head shakes almost imperceptibly, and he says, “What…”

**Kou^^** _: I saw them_

**Kou^^** _: two days ago_

**Kou^^** _: they didn’t seem like strangers_

Akaashi reads the texts, looks at the photo for a few more seconds, and then puts his phone down on the table and gets up, going to his room to grab his laptop. He comes back and sits on the couch. A new message on his phone says

**Kou^^** _: Keiji I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what I should do. I should have told you sooner. In person. I’m really sorry_

Akaashi leaves it for a moment. He shoves open his laptop, tapping keys so it’ll wake up, and gets onto the internet as fast as he can. While his Facebook loads, he picks up his phone. He taps the microphone key and watches his laptop screen while he speaks into his phone, “Did you talk to him,” and hits send.

Kuroo’s profile is not hard to find, and Akaashi clicks into his friends list immediately. He starts scrolling past faces that are both too familiar and not familiar at all. Another message:

**Kou^^** _: no. I thought I should leave it up to you. I haven’t said a word to anyone_

Of course not. Bokuto would never breach his privacy like that. Nobody respects Akaashi more than he does.

Akaashi is at least three hundred people down the list when he sees what he was looking for—bleached hair, toned to a pale yellow tint. _Tsukishima Kei_. He clicks on the name.

A profile that really belongs on Instagram shows up. It makes sense—apparently Tsukishima Kei is a professional photographer. His pictures are gorgeous, and Akaashi wonders if he’s a model too as he scrolls past photos even better looking with Tsukishima in them. Akaashi can’t tell if he’s jealous or just insanely pissed off. Probably both, definitely the latter. Looking at his face, Akaashi can’t tell if Tsukishima is someone who would be with Kuroo when he knows Kuroo is with someone else or not. Who knows what Kuroo told him—maybe some bullshit about an open relationship. That, or Kuroo didn’t tell Tsukishima anything at all. Akaashi will give Tsukishima the benefit of the doubt. Which means this all comes down to the fault of one person.

He takes a deep, searing breath, and closes his laptop. He picks up his phone.

**Akaashi** _: thank you Koutarou_

**Akaashi** _: really_

**Kou^^** _: I hope you’re okay_

**Akaashi** : _is he still coming to the party tonight_

**Kou^^** _: not if you don’t want him to_

**Akaashi** _: no I do_

**Akaashi** _: keep him_

**Akaashi** _: I’ll deal with it_

**Kou^^** _: okay. if you’re sure_

**Kou^^** _: I’d pray for him if I didn’t actually want to see it_

Akaashi smiles at his screen, and though it feels wicked even to himself, he thinks how Bokuto really can make him smile no matter what. He’s deciding what to say when Bokuto sends

**Kou^^** _: I know it’s shitty timing but I have to go. I’ll see you later, Kaashi. I can’t wait actually_

Akaashi imagines that soft laugh Bokuto only does with him.

**Kou^^** _: and I’m sorry again_

**Akaashi** _: the only one who should be sorry is him_

He pauses and adds

**Akaashi** _: see you tonight. love you_

**Kou^^** _: Love you Kaashi_

Akaashi puts his phone down and looks at his closed computer. He’s livid. He thinks about Kuroo, him seeing Tsukishima and thinking, _Sure, why not,_ and taking whatever he wanted without giving Akaashi a second thought. Akaashi realizes he’s been being played this whole time—he doesn’t know how long it’s been that Kuroo has been cheating on him, or with how many people, but he does know that Kuroo gets very friendly very fast. It doesn’t need to have been long. Any more than a week and Kuroo has almost certainly cleared any last blurred line between the clean side and the unfaithful side of his new relationship.

Livid, jealous, and so, _so_ embarrassed. Embarrassed that Kuroo did this to him, embarrassed that he didn’t see it in Kuroo, and most embarrassed that Bokuto, his boss and his best friend and the person he loves more than anyone, had to know this about him before he did.

Kuroo has just ruined his Christmas Eve.

His phone chimes again, and Akaashi looks over at it. That heart next to his name. How silly it seems now.

**Tetsu <3** _: morning baby. I can’t wait to see you at the party tonight ;)_

Akaashi stares at it.

**Akaashi** _: Me either. I think it’s going to be a great time._

…

**_Christmas Eve, 6:00 p.m._ **

Everyone looks over at the accused.

Kuroo shifts on his feet and says, “Keiji—”

“Real shitty what you did to me, Tetsurou. During the holidays of all times.” Akaashi steps into the main office, closing the door behind him. He scans the room briefly—his friends and coworkers all looking at each other wondering what’s going on, who’s the guilty party, or if Akaashi just went crazy. Akaashi almost laughs at that, because maybe he did, starting six months ago.

“What’s going on,” Bokuto says, but it’s calm. Akaashi looks over at him, and when they meet eyes, the corner of Bokuto’s mouth curves just the tiniest bit.

“What’s wrong?” Kuroo says, taking a few steps toward him until they’re both close to the middle of the room.

Akaashi looks away from Bokuto to glare at Kuroo. “As if you don’t know. I found him on your Facebook, Tetsurou. How asinine.”

Kuroo looks like he can’t figure out what to say—he’s just as surprised as everyone else in the room, and now they’re all looking at Kuroo, too. He glances around, and then he puts on that pretty, partially concerned, completely knowing, utterly empty, perfect smile that Akaashi saw when he first met him. “What are you talking about, Keiji? Is everything okay?”

Akaashi feels his neck heating up. He realizes now how condescending Kuroo’s voice can be. “We even look similar, the way our bodies are, our faces, short hair, glasses. Do you like us slimmer than you? Does it make it easier to turn us into toys?”

Kuroo’s eyes squint a little at the corners, and it isn’t his smile that’s doing it. “I don’t think this is a good place for this, do you, babe?”

Off to the side, Akaashi hears Hinata, the new intern, whisper to Tanaka, “What’s happening?”

Akaashi squints back at Kuroo and says, “And I don’t think the restaurant two blocks away from this office is a good place for you to meet the guy you’re cheating on me with.”

The room is quiet. Over by the drink table, Konoha puts a hand to his eyes.

Kuroo just looks at Akaashi for a moment, and then he says, “I don’t think—”

“No, clearly you don’t,” Akaashi says. “You don’t think about anyone but yourself. Did you expect that I’d never find out?”

Kuroo says nothing. He just looks around.

“What were you going to do with me when you were done with me? Just throw me away? Is that what you’ll do to him, too? Why don’t you just—”

He cuts off when Kuroo suddenly puts his drink down, grabs his arm, and starts pulling him, and Akaashi is yelling expletives, and then they’re out of sight down the hall.

Bokuto watches them go. He takes another sip of his drink.

“Good lord,” Konoha says.

“Should someone follow them?” Watari asks.

Bokuto just shakes his head.

Hinata tentatively raises his hand, a worried look on his face. “Were they dating?”

Bokuto smiles. “I think ‘were’ is the perfect word, Hinata. Anyone want another drink?”

Akaashi shakes his arm free from Kuroo’s grasp. “Hey—what do you think—”

Kuroo pushes him around a corner. He turns and frowns at him, speaking in a harsh whisper. “What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?”

Akaashi scoffs and crosses his arms. “I’ve thought that for a while now.”

“Come off it, Keiji.”

Akaashi’s eyes widen, and he brings a hand to his chest. “ _Me?_ Me come off it? That’s a really fine high horse you’re on, Tetsurou, I’m impressed. How do you kid yourself? Do you have any conscience?”

Kuroo rolls his eyes and turns sideways. “This is ridiculous.”

“You know what’s ridiculous?” He thrusts an arm out, pointing anywhere, leaning towards Kuroo. “You _fucking another guy_ while you’re still with me. Say you did it. I want to hear it from your mouth.”

Kuroo just looks away, shaking his head, lips pressed together in a way that Akaashi used to think was extremely cute. Now it just seems extremely annoying.

“Asshole,” Akaashi says. “I saw a _photo_ of you with him from _two days ago_. I never knew you were such a coward. Say it. Say you slept with him.”

Kuroo turns back to him, throwing his arms out. “Fine, yes! Are you happy?”

Akaashi grimaces and shakes his head. “I should be now that I’ll be rid of you.”

“Oh, come on, Kaashi. Are you really going to be like that?”

Akaashi glares at him. What an idiotic question. “Don’t call me Kaashi or baby or Keiji or fucking anything. This is so far gone I can’t even look at you anymore. You know what? I’m _glad_ this happened. You—”

Kuroo grabs his arm and starts dragging him deeper into the office building.

Akaashi stumbles after him, pulling back to no avail. He used to feel a lot of different things about the fact that Kuroo is bigger and stronger than him. Good things. Not anymore. He says, “Don’t touch me.”

“It sounded like someone was coming,” Kuroo hisses. He opens another door and pulls Akaashi through into a big office marked in gold letters: BOKUTO KOUTAROU – EDITOR IN CHIEF.

“Oh, do you have a reputation to uphold now? I can’t believe you’re touching me— _this is my best friend’s office_.”

Kuroo closes the door behind them and turns again to frown at him. “Would you rather he heard us hashing it out instead? We can go back out to the party if you want.”

“He’s my boss!”

“Why don’t you shut up then so he won’t hear you being so bitchy!”

Akaashi narrows his eyes at him. “You’re such a fucking trip. I can’t believe I ever dated you. I can’t believe I let you…” He trails off, trying not to think about every single time.

“It was good, wasn’t it?”

A look of disgust paints Akaashi’s features, and then he closes his eyes and turns away, bringing his hands to his face. “Oh my god. What is wrong with me? I actually thought I might have been falling in love with you.”

Kuroo seems to pause behind him. After a second of silence, Akaashi can hear that little change in Kuroo’s voice. Now he at least knows it’s probably fake. Kuroo asks, “You were?”

Akaashi spins around to glare at him. “Not the fucking time, Tetsurou. No—not the—you’re so—Jesus Christ. I can’t believe this.” He sighs and shakes his head again. “How did I not see it?”

Kuroo says nothing. He only looks at Akaashi, hands hanging limp by his sides.

Akaashi feels his blood cooling to maybe just a simmer now. He takes a breath and says, “How long?”

Kuroo runs his tongue over his lips. “Do you really want to—”

“Just tell me. You owe me that much.”

Kuroo sighs and looks down. Eventually he puts a hand on his hip and says, “Two months.”

It hits Akaashi in the ribs. “ _Two months?_ That’s a third of our whole relationship!”

Kuroo shakes his head, running the other hand through his hair. “I know.”

“No, you—” Akaashi starts, then cuts off. He thinks for a second, about Kuroo, about that amount of time ago. His eyes squint behind his glasses again. “You…you couldn’t have.”

Kuroo’s brow furrows. “What?”

Akaashi points at him, hand by his side. “Two months ago…for our four-month, I gave you a watch. A grey and silver watch. You hardly ever wore it—no surprise. Especially since…”

Kuroo seems to get it. He pales, just a little bit. “Keiji…”

Akaashi’s eyes widen again. “I can’t believe you. You were late that day because you were with _him_. Did you meet him for the first time _that day_?”

Kuroo shakes his head slowly, mouth open. “I…”

“You fucking did. Oh my god.” He turns around and takes a few steps, putting his hands up to his head. “How stupid could I have been?”

“You’re not stupid, Keiji—”

He whips back around. “You’re an _ass_. A lying disgusting piece of… _nothing_.”

Kuroo shakes his head again, eyes on the floor. “I know. I’m…there’s nothing I can say.”

Akaashi takes a second to glare at Kuroo, relishing the way he’s hanging his head. Akaashi isn’t the only one who’s going to break from this.

But then his anger starts to trickle away, and the deep blue of the situation starts seeping in. He finally draws in a breath and says, “No. There isn’t. Now tell me why.”

Kuroo looks up at him. “Why what?”

“Why you fucking cheated, Tetsurou.”

Kuroo just lifts his hands as if even he doesn’t know. “I don’t know. I just liked him.”

Akaashi laughs once, painful. “Oh, you liked him. How adorable.”

“Is that so wrong of me?”

“No, Tetsurou, you sleeping around is what’s wrong.” He rubs his face, wondering what exactly he did to make this happen to him. All those days and nights with Kuroo—all the time spent, all the time wasted. Did it really mean that little to him? Did Akaashi really mean that little? “Did I do something?” Akaashi asks.

Kuroo shakes his head immediately. “No. No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Everything was fine. It was great.”

Akaashi lifts his hands to his sides. “Then what? Why?”

Kuroo looks into his eyes and says, “Because I’m an idiot.”

Akaashi stops, and lets his hands drop. _Now_ it really hits him. Kuroo cheated on him. Kuroo who he adored, who he had real feelings for, who he saw something with, slept with someone else after telling Akaashi that they were exclusively their own, together.

But…Kuroo didn’t say that. He never told Akaashi they were exclusive, never said anything about one and only. Maybe that was Kuroo’s way out. Maybe lying by omission was Kuroo’s way of cutting past a guilt trip. Maybe Akaashi was the idiot all along.

He should have listened to himself when this all began. Himself, Bokuto, everyone.

He can’t help how sad it sounds when he says, “Yeah. You are.”

Kuroo sighs again. He puts a gentle hand out and says, “I liked you too, you know. I still like you just as much as I did when I first met you. More.”

Akaashi shakes his head. “Please. Save it. Nothing you can say will change a thing.”

Kuroo closes his mouth. There’s a long pause, and Akaashi doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now. Should he just walk out? Should he explain to Kuroo how this is going to end, with the two of them going their separate ways forever? How is someone supposed to deal with this?

Kuroo speaks first. “Kaashi.”

Against his will, Akaashi looks at him.

Kuroo glances up. “Mistletoe. Cute, huh?”

Akaashi follows his gaze to the center of the ceiling between them. The mistletoe hangs there, too green and too red. He frowns and steps forward, going up on one foot, tiptoed, reaching with one arm to grab it.

“You’re like a ballerina, Kaashi,” Kuroo says. “You always did remind me of a dancer.”

Akaashi glances at him, sending his feelings in his gaze. He takes hold of the mistletoe by a vine and tears it down, forgetting that this is Bokuto’s office, that Bokuto must have been the one who put it up.

“And you’re a parasite. Like this.” He shoves the mistletoe at Kuroo and then throws it aside. “We’re not cute. We’re done.”

Kuroo smiles a little bit, sadly, and the corners of his eyes do that pretty catlike thing that Akaashi really doesn’t care to see right now. “You’re still cute,” Kuroo says. “I know I fucked up but—”

“Yeah, you did.”

“But you’re still probably the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever been with.”

Akaashi stares at him. It doesn’t feel as good anymore when he says, “Stop it.”

“I am sorry. I know you’re not taking me back—”

“Never.”

“But I mean it. I’m sorry.”

Akaashi squeezes his eyes shut briefly. “Just shut up, Tetsurou. What’s the point? Your face says otherwise, anyway.”

Kuroo shrugs, gazing at more than just Akaashi’s face. “I guess that’s just the way I am. Around you.”

Akaashi shakes his head fast, small, convincing himself of something. “You’re so annoying.”

“You too. Annoying and beautiful.”

“Stop.”

“Can’t help myself.”

“Get over yourself.”

“Think about us, Kaashi.”

Akaashi stops again, and though he doesn’t want to, he thinks about it. All at once, he remembers everything—of _course_ he does. It was just yesterday—no, just this morning that he thought he and Kuroo were closer than ever, happier than ever. He thought he’d be meeting Kuroo before the party and Kuroo would stop whatever he was doing to come to him and take his arms and say _Wow. You look great tonight. Merry Christmas Eve, Kaashi._ And they would come here and drink and talk to their friends and Bokuto might say _You’ve really caught a good one_ to Kuroo like he says sometimes, and later they’d find a mistletoe like this one and they would kiss for a long while until it was time to go home and wake up next to each other on Christmas morning like all those perfect magical love stories.

_Now I’ll wake up alone, with no one next to me at all,_ Akaashi thinks. Why couldn’t it have just been perfect?

He shifts on his feet and says, “I don’t want to.”

Akaashi watches Kuroo’s lips twitch up on the side like they always did when Akaashi said something that Kuroo thought was funny. Is this funny to him?

“This is us, isn’t it?” Kuroo suggests.

“There _is_ no us.”

“Sure there is, Kaashi.”

Akaashi looks at him.

Kuroo softens again, his shoulders falling. “The us that’s been here this whole time. Everything we shared together. That’s us.” He takes a step towards Akaashi. “The days at the beach, the walks in the park, the nights watching movies and eating junk food staying up way too late with work the next day. Cutting myself trying to make you _nanohana_ and you rushing to get me a bandage while I whined like a total wimp. Kissing the taste of cream cheese icing from your lips last month on your birthday because you’re weird and like pistachio cake best.” He keeps taking steps and Akaashi isn’t moving out of the way. “Watching you take off your glasses before bed. The way you burrow into the sheets in your sleep when you’re too cold, all the way until I can’t see your face anymore.”

“Tetsurou,” Keiji whispers.

“Stressing about work. Brushing our teeth. Watching the news. All the mundane moments spent with you, Keiji.” He reaches Akaashi and puts his hand gently on his arm, looking down at him. “I don’t want to miss you.”

Why? Why would he say those things?

Akaashi didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not supposed to be feeling this way. They should have come to this party and had their fun and left and then Kuroo should have told him what he’s done then, himself, without Bokuto knowing and leaving Akaashi mortified. Or he should have said nothing, just hidden it better and lied and smiled like all those times when Akaashi was ignorant and Kuroo was still a fairytale.

He wants this to all be a nightmare, for him to pinch himself and wake up to Kuroo’s handsome face next to him, eyes closed, brow furrowed just a little because he always looked like he was thinking really hard in his dreams, and for Kuroo to slowly breathe in and blink his eyes open and say _What’s wrong, Keiji?_ because Kuroo always knew just how he was feeling. And he would say nothing, it’s nothing, just a bad dream, and Kuroo would kiss him and pull him close and the fairytale magical love story would go the way it’s supposed to go.

Such momentary nostalgia has never pained Akaashi so much as right now.

But he’s no fool. This is real. What he’s feeling—the anger and the sadness and the emptiness and the feeling of already missing what he knows is slipping out of his grasp. All of it, including everything he still feels for Kuroo, because how could he get over what they had so quickly? All of it is real and weighing on him all at once.

He says, more quietly than he means to, “You cheated on me.”

“I’m sorry, Kaashi.”

Akaashi squeezes his eyes shut. “Something else.”

Kuroo tilts his head, bringing his other hand to Akaashi’s arm and squeezing, rubbing his thumb. “Hm?”

“That’s not enough,” Akaashi says. “It’s not enough.”

When he opens his eyes and looks up at Kuroo, there’s a pause, and then Kuroo kisses him. It’s not what he wanted—he wanted more words, for Kuroo to say something more, to not just apologize but to _prove_ it, to convince Akaashi that he feels bad, that the words he’s saying actually mean anything. That something will actually change.

But instead, Kuroo’s hands move up from his arms to his face and hold him softly, kissing him even softer, over and over. And he kisses back, closing his eyes again. The mistletoe is lying there on the ground next to them, and his throat is tight enough that it’s hard to breathe, and he brings his arms up and wraps them over Kuroo’s shoulders as Kuroo brings his hands down to his waist. The way Kuroo kisses him is so gentle and caring and passionate, and he _is_ those things. But deep in Kuroo’s chest, none of it truly matters, because all at once Akaashi realizes that Kuroo won’t say what Akaashi wants him to say no matter how much he asks for it, because he _can’t_ say those things. It’s the only lie he can’t tell—the one he must omit to save himself. And while Kuroo brings his hands to Akaashi’s lower back and pulls him closer, pushes forward and deepens the kiss, Akaashi realizes that it will never be just him—there will always be more than just Akaashi, or Tsukishima, or any guy that Kuroo has been with in his life. All that matters to Kuroo is Kuroo. He says he’s sorry, he says he likes Akaashi a lot and more than he did when he plucked him off the street, he seems emotional that Akaashi had emotions for him. But Akaashi can’t tell anymore what are lies and truth from Kuroo’s pretty lips. He figures he never really could.

Kuroo gives him a quick kiss, then one on his nose, then pulls back. “You’re perfect.” He smiles and takes Akaashi’s hands and starts pulling him. Akaashi follows mindlessly towards the desk. Towards the chair. “Come here, Kaashi. Come here.” Kuroo has Akaashi’s fingers in his as he starts to sit down.

It takes a fraction of a second for Akaashi to glance at the desk. Files holding articles for publication after the holidays, logbooks, telephone. There’s a pen that Akaashi gave Bokuto for another birthday some years ago: wooden, swirled layers in shades of brown, fountain tipped in silver. Aligned perfectly parallel with Bokuto’s day planner—the one Akaashi had the portfolio made for that he’s giving Bokuto tomorrow—the pen still looks as shiny as it was the day Akaashi had it made. And at the front of the desk, the nameplate in gold: BOKUTO KOUTAROU.

“Don’t sit there.”

Kuroo pauses, stepping back to stop himself and standing straight again. “What?”

Gazing at the pen, his hands still in Kuroo’s, Akaashi says, “Not his chair.”

Kuroo’s grip on his fingers tightens, just a little bit. “What’s wrong?”

“You frown in your sleep.”

Kuroo laughs once, uneasy. “What are you talking about?”

“What do you think about when you’re dreaming?” He looks at Kuroo again, and this time, everything’s gone. “Why do you have to think so hard?”

Kuroo blinks at him. “I don’t know what you’re asking me.” He squeezes Akaashi’s hands. “Just come here and kiss me.”

Akaashi’s mind flashes to that day—the day he gave Kuroo the watch he wore almost never, the day Kuroo decided that Akaashi wasn’t enough. He thinks of Kuroo saying, _God, I love kissing you_.

Truth? Or just another lie?

_How many people have you said that to?_

He takes his hands out of Kuroo’s grasp.

Kuroo frowns. “Keiji.”

“You’ve used every strategy. You can give up now.”

Kuroo reaches for his hand again, but Akaashi turns away, facing the desk. “Keiji,” Kuroo says. “After that?”

Akaashi looks at the pen. “That will be the last time. I’m done staging this, Tetsurou. I’m too tired. Six months of this and I’m so tired.”

Kuroo scoffs. “Come on, Keiji, really?”

Akaashi turns back to him. “Yes. Really. I agree with you, Tetsurou. Being with you was lovely. And I did—I _did_ think that I might have been falling for you. After six months of knowing what I thought was you, it would be easy for me to be in love with you now.” He pauses and brushes his hair from the sides of his forehead. “It’ll be hard to forget everything, the mundane moments. I did love them. But I will forget them eventually.”

“Keiji, this is _ridiculous_.”

“And I’m mad at you, Tetsurou. I’m mad that you’ve humiliated me in front of everybody. In front of Kou.”

Kuroo sighs and rubs his face. “In front of Kou,” he mutters.

Akaashi swallows the tightness in his throat back down. “I think that I wanted you to be the one. I wanted it more than anything, for you to be my other half, the perfect man who would stand by me for life.” His voice breaks, and he swallows again. He takes a breath and says, “I was naive and I was a fool. So I’m angry at you, but I’m disappointed with myself.”

“What do you want me to say, Keiji? What’s going to make you happy here?”

Akaashi pauses. The room is silent. He looks into Kuroo’s face, his symmetrical features, his eyes, his mouth, and he looks like somebody Akaashi has never met before. A stranger on the street. Not an ex, not a cheater, not a man who might have broken his heart. Just another guy.

The irony of it makes a strange smile pull at the corners of Akaashi’s lips.

“We’re going to walk out of here, and we’re going to go back to that party, and you’ll stay for another hour or so, and then you’ll leave and I will never see you again.”

Kuroo tenses where he stands. “Keiji.”

“I’m really exhausted,” Akaashi says. He runs a hand through his hair. “It’s been a long night, hasn’t it? Do you want to walk out first or should I?”

“Don’t do this, Keiji.”

“Maybe at the same time would be better.” Akaashi straightens his glasses and gives Kuroo a smile. “I know you were going to be busy during dinnertime tomorrow so we were going to spend the morning together instead. Don’t forget a gift for him, all right? You can be a little forgetful sometimes.”

“You’re going to make me resign to this?”

Akaashi laughs once. It feels weird, talking to a stranger like this. “Actually, I can’t make you do a single thing. It’s not my job to keep you in line.”

Kuroo puts his hands out to his sides. “Keiji, I’m _sorry_.”

“Tell Tsukishima how sorry you are.” He smiles halfway and snaps his fingers. “But then you probably wouldn’t have him either, would you. It’s okay. You’ll find somebody else.”

Kuroo puts his hand on his forehead, sighs, and says, “Okay, Keiji. Okay. I get it. All right? I get it. Just—give me a second to think. Can I call you when you’re not feeling so upset? Maybe we can talk then.”

Akaashi looks at him. “Tetsurou, you can kiss my ass. Now let’s go have a merry Christmas.”

He doesn’t mind the looks when they reach the main office again, but Kuroo considers the floor instead. Conversation doesn’t stop, and Kuroo goes quietly back to Hanamaki, who’s lifting an unimpressed brow at him. Akaashi meets eyes with Hinata for a second, and Hinata is giving him that eyebrows-up worried look he gets, so Akaashi smiles a little at him. Hinata blushes and turns back to Tanaka who starts to explain it. Akaashi goes to the drink table, and Konoha naturally falls away to wonder what Mattsun is thinking of the atmosphere. Akaashi stands by Bokuto’s side, leaning against the table, watching the party.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says.

Bokuto shakes his head. “Don’t worry. I’m proud of you.”

“And I’m sorry about your office.” In hindsight, he should have put the mistletoe back up.

Bokuto pauses, figuring it out. He chuckles and says, “No big deal. How are you?”

Akaashi looks around. He sees Kuroo with his hand coolly in his pocket, but his head is down while Makki talks at him. It looks like Makki is saying _…have any idea what you just lost?_ “I’m okay,” Akaashi says. “Well, I’ll be okay soon. Maybe I’m done with guys for a while.”

“Yeah?” Bokuto nods. “I get that. Just a little longer then.”

Akaashi looks over at him. All this time and he never noticed that Bokuto has really long eyelashes.

Bokuto nods again for some reason and says, “Just a little.”

Akaashi blinks and turns back to the party. “I might have taken down your mistletoe by accident.”

Bokuto laughs. “It’s all right. Maybe I won’t need it.”

Akaashi nods, mind elsewhere. “I’m glad we told each other no presents this year. I’m sure he was glad enough to not get me anything.”

Bokuto clicks his tongue. “Don’t worry. I’ve definitely got you covered on that one.”

Akaashi looks at him and his mouth opens. “What? You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Since when do we not get each other presents for Christmas or birthdays or Wednesdays?”

Akaashi tisks, shaking his head. “I guess it’s a good thing I got you a few things too, then.”

Bokuto smiles and leans into his side briefly. Akaashi leans too, and then turns to watch his coworkers and friends again, admiring how happy they all are.

After a moment, Bokuto says, “Sure you’re good, though? Want to come over tonight and cry about it?”

Akaashi takes a deep breath. “No, I don’t need to cry.”

Bokuto nods, looking at his watch—the one Akaashi gave him two years ago that he wears every day. “Want to come over anyway?”

Akaashi looks at him again, at his boss and his best friend and the person he loves more than anyone. At Bokuto’s face and each of his features—his round golden eyes, his full brows, his sharp nose and strong jaw, his hair that he still insists on dyeing, though he wears it soft around his face now. He looks just like Bokuto.

He thinks, _Now I’ll wake up alone, with no one next to me at all._ He forgets to answer the question that Bokuto asked him.

“If you want to,” Bokuto says. “No pressure. I just want you to be okay. I always want that.”

And Akaashi thinks, _…my other half, the perfect man who would stand by me for life._

_How many months in 11 years plus 8 months?_

_140 actually._

Bokuto shifts his legs and says, “I didn’t mean to—”

“Do you remember when we visited Okinawa last winter?” Akaashi looks right at him, at the way Bokuto blinks at the question, the memory.

“I remember,” Bokuto says. “We stayed for a week.”

“Do you remember how the heating in our rental stopped working in the middle of the night?”

Bokuto nods. “You came into my room really sleepy and wrapped in a blanket. And—” He clears his throat, glancing down and back up again. “We shared my bed so we wouldn’t be so cold.”

“Did I burrow in the sheets? While I was asleep?”

Bokuto smiles and doesn’t answer.

Akaashi asks, “All the way until you couldn’t see my face anymore?”

The smile fades from Bokuto’s lips. He shakes his head. “No. You never go far enough for that. You like to have your ears covered, but I can always still see your face. Always.”

Akaashi stares at him.

Bokuto visibly swallows. He looks forward, then back again to Akaashi next to him. “My heating works great. And I just got this new blanket. It’s blue.”

Akaashi says, “Yeah, Kou. I think I can come over tonight.”

Bokuto looks at him, smiles his easy, genuine, perfect smile, and Akaashi realizes that where there was vacancy behind Kuroo’s, Bokuto’s is full of _something_.

“Cool,” Bokuto says. He pauses and then adds, “And, you know, the holidays aren’t done yet. Christmas is tomorrow. And you deserve what you wanted for it. So.” He shrugs and looks forward, lifts his drink to his lips.

Akaashi smiles, then smiles wider, and he starts to laugh.

**Author's Note:**

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